Erika Kirk Shares Usha Vance’s Advice on Grief
Erika Kirk described her first year after the killing of her husband, conservative leader Charlie Kirk, as a succession of emotional waves, writing Monday that advice from second lady Usha Vance helped her navigate life with their two young children.
In a New York Times essay published three days before the anniversary of her husband’s death, Erika Kirk recounted the shock of returning to their Phoenix home and confronting the belongings and family routines he left behind.
“I don’t know how I’m going to do this,” she recalled telling Usha Vance.
The second lady responded: “You know when you’re on an airplane with your kids, and you’re going to land in 15 minutes, but the kids are going crazy, screaming, throwing things, and then the plane lands, and the kids relax, and everything is fine again? That’s how it will be. Just get through the next 15 minutes.”
Erika Kirk described initially avoiding the couple’s bedroom as she struggled with reminders of her husband. Holidays, birthdays, and family traditions brought further reminders of his absence as she continued raising their children.
Over time, she wrote, the pain became more familiar, even as it continued to bring memories of Charlie Kirk into focus.
“The wave still comes, but it’s different now,” she wrote. “A year ago, when I felt it coming over me, I wondered whether it would swallow me completely. Now, I recognize it; sometimes I even welcome it, because for a moment the grief makes Charlie feel impossibly close.”
Charlie Kirk, 31, was fatally shot last Sept. 10 while speaking at an outdoor event at Utah Valley University in Orem.
He co-founded Turning Point USA, the conservative youth organization that Erika Kirk subsequently took over as CEO.
Her reflections come as the prosecution of his accused killer advances. Utah Judge Tony Graf ruled Sept. 1 that Tyler Robinson, 23, must stand trial on aggravated murder and other charges. Robinson pleaded not guilty to all charges.
Prosecutors plan to seek the death penalty. They allege Robinson fired from a rooftop more than 400 feet from Kirk and knowingly endangered other people attending the event.
Defense attorneys disputed whether the evidence supported that aggravating factor, which lets prosecutors pursue capital punishment.
Erika Kirk also emphasized the role of her Christian faith in confronting her loss.
“I can stand and say without a shadow of a doubt that God is good,” she wrote.
At her husband’s memorial service in Glendale, Arizona, last September, she publicly forgave his accused killer and pledged to continue Turning Point USA’s mission.
President Donald Trump posthumously awarded Charlie Kirk the Presidential Medal of Freedom on Oct. 14, what would have been his 32nd birthday.
Erika Kirk ended by passing along Usha’s advice to others experiencing similar loss: “Just get through the next 15 minutes.”
